Overwritten
by shikuro
Summary: Snapshots of Eren and Mikasa moments. #4: A stray Mikasa/Eren moment after the female titan ploy. "He dreams with his eyes closed; she dreams watching him."
1. The Way Home

**FOREWORD**: (_Spoilers: Anime Episode 22/Manga Chapter 30_) The scene where they ride towards the walls and she rides next to him, watching him _stuck_ to me even after I finished watching the anime and reading the manga (Yes, I'm all caught up now!). Mikasa had probably wanted to kill the female titan for more than just Eren, but also for the many she had killed, but yeah... We all know Eren's her trigger.

**Summary**: They ride home. Eren is unconscious and Mikasa watches over him.

**I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, or any of its characters.**

* * *

_I won't move, I won't breathe until I see the verdant fields of your eyes._

_._

The wind whips through her hair. Her ears are filled with the scamper of dozens of horses pulling wagons, carrying soldiers, hauling the dead. The stench of blood and defeat surrounds her. The steady gallop of her horse steals short breaths out of her lungs. The dust raised in their collective steed stings and pricks… But her strong stride stays in line with his cart and her gaze never leaves his sleeping figure.

Like Cerberus guarding the gates of Hades, she lets nothing past when it comes to him—a shadow too fast to follow, a blur too quick to punch back and a constant too vital to ignore. Mikasa would follow Eren to the depths of Titan hell, even if they tied her up to a tree and took her weapons away. Maybe that is what family is; maybe that is what love is. She never stopped to wonder. She does not need a name attached to how she feels about Eren—she only needs to be with him.

She still wishes she could have slaughtered her: the one who had dared take him away. She had lost control at the thought of losing him. She had been driven by a dark urge to hurt the female titan, like it hurt to think she had lost him. Mikasa had wanted to slice through her disgusting flesh and demolish her. And as a result, she had almost failed him. Had Levi-heichou not been there, would he have been lying there in that cart? Had Levi-heichou not stopped her, who would have been watching over him instead of her?

Blinded by revenge, she had almost forgotten what is most important.

They ride homeward, but home is right there, unconscious and barely breathing in the moving cart next to her. She will not tear her eyes away from him. She will not stop making sure he is right there, comatose but alive. She glances over his limbs—whole and wrapped up in layers of cloak; checks his chest—going up and down with ragged breaths; and stares at his face—sickly pale, but the face of the man her sanity rides on.

She silently wills him to open his eyes—the doors to her haven, where everything is beautiful and warm. And she waits, she hopes.

She watches.


	2. ClamourArdour

**FOREWORD**: (_Spoilers—Manga Chapter 50_) I want to believe Eren was thinking something along those lines while Mikasa was thanking him.

**Summary**: How Eren finds his resolve during that one glorious moment in Chapter 50.

**I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, or any of its characters.**

* * *

_Her lips are moving and her voice is calm. _

_Words are pouring out of her mouth. _

_All he can do is stare._

_._

After seeing the smiling titan devour yet another person he cared for without being able to lift a damn finger to stop it, all he could do was sit there, speechless and numb as she poured out the contents of her heart. Finality was thick in her voice. Mikasa was saying goodbye.

She had accepted her fate, and was ready to die at the hands of that vile monster.

Not Mikasa. _Not_ Mikasa. **_Never_** Mikasa, echoed in his head.

It was not meant to happen this way. He was meant to be her hero, and protect her. He was meant to rid the world of titans and see the outside world with Armin and her.

He then registered her words, and it suddenly hit him... that in this dystopian world, he had always been her hope, her reason for living... that more than anything, she needed him with her—not to protect or baby—but to simply _be_... that he had made her life more bearable, when from the beginning she had been born a tragedy, bound to misfortune and raised on loss.

And then, he noticed her smile.

It was a smile that hinted at none of the atrocity of their situation, of what she had been through and been robbed of. And for the first time, he saw it too: beauty had always been around him, in the form of smooth gossamer skin, silky ebony hair and eyes like a bottomless pool of ink. Beauty had always followed him, carrying with her the greatest luxuries anyone could hold in this cruel world—love to give, hope to live, strength to carry on. He had always had what was rare to mankind in this world.

He could see Armin from the corner of his eyes, desperately scrambling, surrounded by titans. Men were being eaten alive in a garble of hair-raising screams, breaking bones, tearing flesh and dripping gore.

But in that moment of utter hopelessness, Eren could only see her smile, her eyes, and the way she looked at him—like she had led the most wonderful life thanks to him. Mikasa had been born a tragedy, but she was a beautiful tragedy. Beautiful, and inching closer, her warm breath tickling his cold skin.

That's when he made his decision. That's when he found his resolve.

Mikasa deserved more than this kind of miserable end. And he was going to fight for it, _fight_ to see that smile again, and again. Fight until all she is, is smiles, uninhibited bliss and freedom. Fight until her fate collides with the idyll she deserves. She may have been born a tragedy, but he was never letting her die as one.

Not Mikasa. **_Never_** Mikasa.

With that, Eren stood up. He directed his newfound resolve and strength at the wretched smiling titan. And he punched.


	3. Steadfast

**FOREWORD:** (_Spoilers: Anime Episode 4/Manga Chapter 3_) A slightly longer chapter than what I have written so far... This is based off the manga rather than the anime—the moment when Mikasa tells Eren she is joining the Recons Corps/Scouting Legion.

Also, thank you all for your kind reviews, and most of all for simply reading. To Anon, thank you for your suggestion in your review! I will try to post that one up as soon I finish writing it!

**Summary**: On the night of the disbanding, Mikasa tells Eren where she is applying, and he is not very pleased.

**I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, or any of its characters.**

* * *

_Anywhere he leads, that is where she is._

_._

"That's it!" he hears Jean call out as the others restrain him, and Eren thrashes against Mikasa's strong, firm grip. "Have Mikasa haul you around again like a baby! Surely you also intend to drag her down with you into the Scouting Legion?!"

Eren's body tenses up and ices all over at Jean's words. So intent had he been on eradicating vermin that he had never stopped to think about which path Mikasa would follow. _The Military Police_, he tells himself. She is certainly choosing the Police; she has to. None of the righteous lecture scorning the twisted logic of their training and those seeking the fleeting comfort of the inner districts he has just poured out in the dining hall applied to her.

He crashes back to reality when once outside, she unceremoniously dumps him on the ground like a sack of potato—even Sasha would have been fooled if not for the immediate protest that escapes his mouth.

"Ow! That hurt, you know!"

"You tend to be impulsive when things get out of hand. It's almost like a reflex…"

She is right, but he is not about to admit that. When he gets riled up and the situation heats up, he tends to think with his fists. There is very little that can stop him and she is one of the few who knows how to. She says nothing else, does not apologise; shows no sign of contrition for her actions. She just stands tall and unrelenting before him, daring him to prove her wrong.

He looks up at her like an admonished child, dozens of protests biting at the insides of his mouth. But he says nothing and swallows them down. He does not apologise either because that is how he is, and Mikasa knows that.

He snorts, looks away and sits up, wordlessly putting an end to that discussion. He has more pressing matters to clear with her.

"About what Jean said…" Eren starts. "Where are you applying, exactly?"

A second goes by as she sits down next to him, but a couple lifetimes pass him by as he awaits her answer.

"I will join the Scouting Legion," she finally says.

He does not even know why he is surprised.

Eren, the boy with grand speeches when it comes to killing titans and joining the Legion, is struck dumb before the top ranking member of his class. Because she happens to be the girl with the red scarf, because she happens to be Mikasa.

He really should have known without even asking. He has never had to say a word to her. She has always been like an old playback on tape—_I'm going with you, I'm coming too, I'm going with you—_stop, rewind, play, repeat.

His tone is not very far from that of a plea when he says, "You're top of our class… Go for the Police! Few people in history have demonstrated as much talent as you. You could get some special treatment…"

_A good life_, he wants to add, because that is all he ever wanted for her.

But before he can finish, she replies, "If you go for the Police, so will I." She stares at a fixed point on the ground as she continues, "Enter the Stationary Troop, and I will follow you there."

He knows the sound of those words all too well. He knows the irritation that makes his brows furrow. He knows the beat in his heart that quickens his breath. He knows the feeling that grips at his insides and twists.

"You will die very quickly if I'm not around," she then says glancing at him.

"How much longer are you going to keep this up?" he asks, exasperated. "I didn't ask for anything!"

She never got it; still does not get why he never asks her to come with him. She never understood that he knows he is not strong enough to protect her—not yet. He never wants to, but he knows he can rely on her when push comes to shove. What about _her,_ though? She is strong and capable, but that does not take away the fact that she remains human—mortal. Would she ever feel safe with him? Would she ever feel like she could rely on him?

"For as long as I live," she replies. "I died once, and I was brought back to life. It's a debt I won't forget," she says quietly covering her nose with her scarf as her eyes cloud over. "And above all, I don't want to lose what's left of my family…"

Eren understands then that there is no changing her mind. Mikasa is joining the Scouting Legion... _and he has to get stronger._ That damned Jean is freaking wrong. He is not going to drag her down. He is not going to let himself be the burden that is the end of her.

This time, _he_ will be the one watching over _her_.


	4. Reverie

**FOREWORD**: (_Spoilers: Anime Episode 25/Manga Chapter 34_) Set after Annie's capture _in the manga_, when Mikasa chooses to stay by Eren's side instead of attending the meeting with the others. Will probably write the anime version as well. Maybe.

Thanks to Anon for this!

**Summary**: A stray Mikasa/Eren moment after the female titan ploy._  
_

**I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, or any of its characters.**

* * *

_He dreams with his eyes closed; she dreams watching him._

_._

Armin scurries off the bed after pulling his shoes on and follows Jean out of the room. He turns back at the door when he notices Mikasa has not moved.

"Mikasa?" he ventures.

"I think you should also go to the meeting," the soldier says, peering in to address her.

"No, I…" She pauses, and glances at Eren's face. "I think I better stay here."

"I see."

Armin throws her a look and waves, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips, before he leaves. She feels her cheeks go warmer at the meaning behind it. The door closes on them, leaving her sheltered within her world.

Her eyes go back to Eren's tired face, his closed lids.

She has watched him sleep countless times, especially when they were younger. She remembers the way his head rested on the pillow, arms all about; how his chest rose and fell with every steady even breath he took through his open mouth; and how serene he looked, with his eyelids hiding dreams only he could see. She had mused on what he could have be seeing behind them, and had imagined ashen explosions marvelling at liquid blues, icy whites and flaxen dunes. She had reached out to touch him sometimes. She remembers how it would stir something within him: his breath would expel more sharply, and he would move his cheek towards her fingers for want of her warmth while with closed lids, he dreamt still.

A few lifetimes have elapsed since then. He even sleeps differently now—still and tensed. She wonders whether he would still prod her fingers if she grazed his cheek. And she wonders whether his dreams are still of the outside world, or if they are now filled with titans and loss—worse, a certain petite muscular blond girl he had had so much trouble accepting was an enemy.

Even as she observes him now, she cannot tell what he is seeing.

She used to watch him wake all the time, and knows how slow his body moves and reacts after his slumber, as though protesting against rising. She recalls suppressing smiles at the grunts that would escape the depths of his throat as he would stretch, and how she would stare as groggy grins would always find their way to his lips when his lids finally revealed his silver gems.

It has been a long time since she has seen him wake up like that. She tells herself that maybe this time when he opens his eyes, he will turn to her with a smile on his face. Just like when they were kids. Just like when she let herself believe that his eyes had opened upon his dream.

* * *

**AFTERWORD**: Eren's eyes are grey in the manga, green in the anime. I went with grey since this is a manga rendition.


End file.
